But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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