Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
