After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
