so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
