im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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