oh god the rape fog is back!
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You ate ashes out of my bong
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
