i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
