I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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