so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
