take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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