therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
