You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
