so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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