I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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