thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
