Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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