His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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