i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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