i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
