People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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