Yo dont text me then not text me
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
