We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
