There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
