i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
