I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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