Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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