girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
love makes seman taste better
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
