I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
