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Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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