Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I skipped work to stalk him.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
