Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
