You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
