And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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