Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
only if we run a train.
done.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
