he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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