i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
We left an ass print on the piano.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
