he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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