All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
