Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just had sex on a roof
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
