Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
