the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
