your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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