is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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