I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
