the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
