Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
