Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
