And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
