Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
