So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
