Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
