brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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