You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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